I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
no, he came in my armpit
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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