Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
