The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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