if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
