how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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