hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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