watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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