My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
