when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
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