You can't special order awesome
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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