you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
