Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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