Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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