She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
