So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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