what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
