gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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