I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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