Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
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That reminds me...we need to get swords
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it