Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
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my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.