he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!