he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
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Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
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Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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