i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
