Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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