Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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