turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
