You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
