Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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