I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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