So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
