Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
