If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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