just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I love you.
Bad choice
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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