I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
