Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
