I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
