I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
