if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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