but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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