And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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