Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
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I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
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And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Someone signed my nipple.
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