Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
