Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
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we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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