break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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