She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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