i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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