I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
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We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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