She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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