Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize