I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Panties = found
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