Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
