Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
