Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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