Yo dont text me then not text me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
