it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
