Do you still have your period?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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