i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
