I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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