I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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