I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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