hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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