I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dignity is for republicans.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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